Emchap's Shit from the Internet 11/16/22 🍠
I have been in a rank mood lately for some real reasons and some “brain’s haunted” ones, but my boyfriend pointed out that he bought me a SAD lamp last year that I refused to use, and did I perhaps maybe want to give it a go, no pressure, it’s helped him. (I had completely forgotten he bought me the lamp, but sure enough there it was in the closet.)
So now, twice a day I sit in front of my little glowing picture frame and will my brain into behaving itself, and I go do my exercises three times a week, and I try to eat my food and keep everything shambling along. I am refusing to travel any more for the rest of the year, because it makes me crabby and also because I just got an email that of course there was a covid exposure at the work trip I just came back from where I was the only one masking.
The sun going away does at least mean that the weather is now conducive to my favorite foods, and so far this week I’ve made a risotto and a roast chicken. I’m firmly in my hobbit era, and if one must experience winter, it’s best to have an insulating blanket of chicken fat and root vegetables with which to do it, I think.
The sun going away has the downside of meaning that my hand eczema is back, as happens when I’m stressed or cold or the air is dry or who knows what else. I have the kind that breaks out in tiny horrible little blisters all over my hands, and itching them feels like seeing god it’s so good, and then my hands bleed and it’s awful. My boyfriend refers to my scratching motion as “raccoon hands,” as in, “please stop making raccoon hands in your sleep, I wake up and find it profoundly upsetting.”
As a result, I’m now covering my hands in vaseline before bed, which does seem to fix the issue over time, but which does require my hands to be covered. I used to do this with an old pair of cotton gloves, but I appear to have lost them at some point in the last few months, and so now every night I cover my hands with a pair of Zapier branded conference swag socks, which works but does not feel like the optimal way to be living my life, you know? My boyfriend had to help me zip up my sleep hoodie last night because I couldn’t grab the zipper on my own.
Shit to read
The FTX collapse has been funny to watch from afar, because I think crypto is a giant, stupid scam, and it feels existentially correct that of course it collapsed due to the machinations of a eugenicist polycule of Harry Potter dipshits on amphetamines. I didn’t realize that those people had connections to the place that a lot of people I know went to after they made acquisition money, so, fun additional personal note.
Relatedly, jesus fucking christ.
Loved this deep cut of Hola Papi’s five tweets he won’t forget.
A staff engineer at Reddit sent this poem to a Musk stan arguing that it’s fine that Musk is firing people for disagreeing with him on Twitter. Sandburg does not miss.
I refuse to get another IUD because of how frequently people I have known (myself included) have had problems with them (nexplanon 4 lyfe), and this is my actual nightmare.
I love this nightmare hinged Gameboy.
Shit to eat
Slap some salt onto a raw chicken and let it sit uncovered in your fridge for a day. Try not to touch other things with it.
Clean three potatoes and use the slicing disk for your food processor to get them very thin. If you do not have a slicing disk, get one, or use a knife.
Preheat your oven to 450, with a 3-quart dish in it. The recipe will say to use cast iron, but pyrex honestly seems to work fine.
Melt a knob of butter, add some oil to it, add some seasoning to that, and toss your potatoes in it.
Take the dish out of the hot oven, put some oil in it.
Cover your chicken in some oil, rub it in, put it in the dish with the legs tied shut.
Put the potatoes all around the bird.
Into the oven for 50 minutes. Your house will smell amazing.
Out of the oven, let rest for 20 minutes.
Carve and serve. The potatoes will be the best part. They always are.
(Adapted from the Bon Appetit roast chicken and crispy potatoes recipe.)
Shit to listen to
Love a closet cleanout video, and am particularly thinking of this as I adjust my clothes for my second real winter in the last few years, now with a differently-shaped body than previously (annoying; bodies: a scam).
Shit to buy
I am obsessed with this fat tiger tee. “Uncomfortable and also a bitch” is perfect.
My friend shared a sample of this perfume with me and it smelled phenomenal.