Emchap's Shit from the Internet 10/13/21 🍠
My home is heated by radiators, because it was built in the Past and that was the technology of the day. When I bought the place, I was charmed by the detail and figured that that was fine; my experience with radiators in New York was that they do a perhaps too effective job of heating one’s home.
It appears, however, that that’s a NYC-specific choice—the radiators in my building radiate a very gentle heat right now, and (in the way of radiators) are not customized per-unit. This means that I have been revisiting “am I dying or do I need to put on socks”, my favorite autumnal activity. (I got a physical last week; the answer appears to be “socks”, but you know, constant vigilance.)
I’ve been told by the HOA president that hope may be on the way; she and a radiator tech (a delightfully fake-seeming old timey job that’s much more useful than anything I’ve ever done) are visiting everyone’s units tomorrow to flush the radiators and get our boiler set up. So, hopefully me and my poorly-insulated windows will soon be better off. Failing that, I’ve got what I am told is a functional fireplace in my living room, and though I’ve been too nervous to try it out I have emailed the old owner to confirm if he ever has. Perhaps I’ll become a Fireplace Person for fall and blow the cat’s mind.
Shit to read
Obviously I love meme-based stunt journalism.
Not a single part of this Typical Day In the Life in Oregon is wrong. This weekend a dude in flannel drove me in his Subaru to go thrift shopping and when that didn’t work we went to the Patagonia store across the street and got IPAs at the brewery by the parking garage. That’s not a joke, that’s just a thing that happened to me.
You do not have to spend all of your time peeing, it’s fine, leave your poor kidneys alone.
I thought this framing about why your friends who should know better don’t leave their horrible husbands to be interesting, as AHP often is.
Man I hadn’t thought about Bug Juice for like, 15 years? This is great, recommend it.
This Gawker piece on why “talk to your doctor” is bad as vaccine public health advice is very good.
Man I wound up reading this piece on Bennington in the 80s because I wanted to give context to someone about how a season of Riverdale is just literally a large homage to Donna Tartt’s The Secret History (you know, like teens like) but it’s just start to finish a wild ride.
Shit to eat
Go to the local version of what a pub would be if Portland made it (beer and vegan coffee, mostly weird furniture, slightly too brightly lit, cheap) and drink two high-gravity milk stouts while reading your book because they are out of the pumpkin beer that you wanted and you are making bad choices.
Finish your book.
Wander home in a cheerful, tipsy mood.
When you get home, remember you have a frozen pizza available to you.
Follow the frozen pizza package instructions, and—while waiting for it to cook—have a third beer and start watching the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the most certifiably WILD of the Real Housewives series.
When the pizza is done, sprinkle Penzey’s frozen pizza spice on it.
Cut it into six slices and know that you will eat 4 because frozen pizza is one of the best horrible trash things in this world.
Eat your pizza on your couch under your blanket watching your trash TV, and burn your mouth, and be tremendously content with your life.
Shit to listen to
I really like You Are Good (“a feelings podcast about movies”) and particularly liked this episode on Little Shop of Horrors, a movie musical I love with my whole dumb heart.
Shit to buy
A butternut squash, as is tradition. I buy it every year and every year I remember that they are a huge pain to process, and every year I eat my silly little squash and enjoy it.