Emchap's Shit from the Internet 09/22/21 š
On Sunday, I went ice skating with a friend in a mall that I can only describe as āvery hauntedā, and which an ex of mine would absolutely have described as āvaporwaveā due to his agonies. I got there before we were supposed to skate, and wandered around the mall for a little bit, and in that entire time the only open store I saw was a Barnes and Noble (which still seemed to be robustly kicking in Al Goreās 2021) and a single food court stand.
Itās not that the other stores werenāt thereāI saw what appeared to be a fully stocked Forever 21 and a Claireās now hawking the stuff from my own childhood of unsanitary mall ear piercingābut at 10:30 on a Sunday not a one of them was open. My friend pointed out that thereās a Sears still in the mall, but itās been repurposed as a vaccine site where folks can be bribed their $150 to please not die.
There were other signs of life on the upper floors (I saw a for-profit nursing school taking up half the top floor, and a dental office in another wing), but at the moment I was there, there was just a complete silence outside of the rink. There were a few unhoused folks quietly sitting in the chairs around the space, and I saw what appeared to be a solitary mall walker, but otherwise it was all very Left Behind. I didnāt even see a movie theatre, which was 100% the anchor of the dying mall of my own youth. (I posted a photo of the outside of this one on instagram and a friend messaged to tell me how similar they looked.) It remains unclear to me where the dirtbag youth of Portland go to make out to the dulcet tones of bad action movie remakes.
The rink itself, however, was pretty fun (even if situatedāsuboptimally for an ice rinkāunder a sky light). There were several children gleefully hurtling their whole bodies at the ice in the way of children who do not know that they will one day die and/or have to pay for their own health insurance premiums. There was an older teen who stopped by to wave at my friend, who is at the rink a lot because she is actually good at skating. I was particularly enamored by a hockey dad in a band shirt circling the rink while checking his phone, while his tween child trailed behind. I managed not to fall down, which was my single goal, and woke up the next day mostly only sore on the arm where I had clutched the wall for most of my time on the ice until my friend took pity and started hauling me around by the hands.
12/10 haunted mall; would recommend.
Shit to read
I enjoyed this lovely story about some people who got tattooed for free burritos in a version of San Francisco that seems unrecognizable.
Is it shooting down? Yes. Do I nonetheless love every single mean Dear Evan Hansen review? Obviously.
AHP, as always, bringing the interesting supplemental content around the LuLaRoe documentary.
I am garbage and so obviously cannot wait for the next season of RHSLC.
God these FUCKING PEOPLE.
Shit to eat
Make chicken stock. This will involve you googling āhow to make chicken stockā even though the recipe is, as it has always been, āput roast chicken carcass in a pot, boil, add other shit if desired.ā
Once thatās done, strain the solids out and leave the stock in a bowl. Repurpose the dutch oven you use instead of a grownup stock pot to heat up some oil and sautĆ© a chopped-up onion and some salt.
When itās translucent, add some chopped-up garlic for another minute.
Dump in a pound of breakfast sausage that you bought for a reason you no longer remember. Break it up with a silicone spatula.
Wait for 10 minutes, stirring every so often.
Dump in the stock, scrape up the burned-on bits. You know, soup stuff.
At this point I added a can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, which, in retrospect, was a spicy mistake. Add them if you like that, or add half a can, or add tomatoes instead.
Simmer the whole thing for a second, and add half a bag of frozen spinach.
Once thatās all cooked up, toss in a handfull of parm, and stir.
Taste, adjust seasoning, realize that your soup is too goddamn spicy.
Plate up a bowl, including a squeeze of lime. I grated some gouda into there but itās not required. I added some sour cream because my mouth, but again, ymmv. I added some chopped chives, but that was mostly for the āgram.
Shit to listen to
AJJās Knife Man, a weird, sad little album from a decade ago which I am going to watch them perform tonight. (This is actually my favorite song off the album, it just doesnāt have a video; however, it accurately captures just being Really Goddamn Sad/LDRs, which I have a deep and bad affection for.)
Shit to buy
Itās out of stock but I love this dress.