Emchap's Shit from the Internet 09/16/20 š
Iāve been spending a bunch of time lately watching What Not to Wear, for the very exciting combo of reasons that thereās a random season of it on Amazon Prime and Iām too tired to do anything else. I watched the show regularly as a kid (it was on for ten years, which is wild to me) and I remember getting their book as a middle schooler. There was something in there about brown being a less-harsh neutral than black, and I took it to heart and wore brown as my basically exclusive neutral for years and years.
Much like the original Queer Eye, it is such a product of its timeāthereās a real emphasis on being classy, and on outfits for the office, since this was before the bottom fell totally out of that concept for all but like three professions.
The hosts donāt do much to deal with race or fatness when it comes up, and itās an aggressively heterosexual show despite the fact that Clinton Kelly was married to a man (and still is for all I know) when filming and Stacy London is now with a woman. Iām watching a Q&A grab bag final episode right now, and one of the questions is around whether theyāve ever been in to each other, and even in 2013 I think that was suspending disbelief just a bit too much.
I think the show sometimes gets a reputation as having been mean, but at least in the season Iām watching Iām surprised by how untrue that seems to be. Thereās certainly some degree of trashing (they do literally toss all the contributorās clothes) but for the most part theyāre very nice to her, and generally contestants seem to have had an okay time on the show from what folks have since posted on reddit. But what the show was was rigidly rules-oriented and focused on āflatteringā, and in that way I think it feels very, very much like something that came out of the early 2000s. (And no one tucks in their shirts, which I personally find very stressful as a committed member of the high-waist lifestyle.)
Much like Queer Eye was originally based on some really reductive versions of straight/gay stereotypes and has since become really popular by reorienting to a self-help lens and acknowledging that its conceit is basically āhereās how helpful it is to have money,ā I think thereās a version of this show that would be beloved if it was about helping a baby queer find soft butch flannel whatever or a recently divorced woman get rid of things that defined her during her marriage. You could probably even retain the original hosts, if they didnāt hate each other.
I wish I had the brains for anything more substantial, but right now, this is is it. Iām hot and sad and gross and want to sleep for a million billion years, so instead Iām watching the same three day makeover format show until my brain leaks out my ears.
Shit to read
We are not getting a pizza party.
I donāt think I realized how young Florence Welch is, and I very much enjoyed this piece by her.
Iāve spent more than a decade on twitter and there is absolutely no real way to defend it, it is in so many ways a horrible place.
Very real finance advice about how to pay off your mortgage in 4 years that includes purchasing a cheaper house, marrying a rich dude, and being white.
This (on privilege and the pandemic) is just fucking phenomenal.
Cats made everything worse.
The same people who previously brought you MLMs on Facebook are now bringing you QAnon horseshit.
This person used inspect element and some free time to grab the Australian PMās passport number and the blog post is bananas.
Iāve been waiting three weeks for a lighter to arrive and in fact, yes, everything is sold out.
Shit to eat
In Slack, discover that one of your coworkers has suggested that another try her fun snack hack of eating sour cream with lime and brown sugar. (The energy is less āsad diet dessertā and more āno one should let us live on our own, we are gremlins.ā)
Discover that you have almost none of that, but you do have yogurt and lemon and brown sugar.
Put some of each in a cup.
Stir them up.
Enjoy. Itās honestly a tasty evening treat.
Shit to listen to
Iāve started layering rain noises over an Iron and Wine album that came out the week of a big snow storm in Atlanta; I have a memory of listening to the Iron and Wine album while driving around the Saab I learned to drive in, hanging out at a high school friendās place with my best friend and a neighbor and the muffled sound of everything. Itās a multi-modal way of trying to convince myself Iām in a cafe while itās raining, which is an experience I miss more than just about anything.
Shit to buy
This house, which you can then give to me so I can sit in it and eat high-quality dairy and stare out at the sea while I write novels. Itāll be great.