Emchap's Shit from the Internet 09/1/21 đ
I am spending more and more of my time in a state of slightly-joking âsmooth brain, no thoughtâ right now. I donât know if itâs the pandemic, or being burned out, or simply creed arms-ing into a sea of early 30s memory deterioration, but if you asked me what I did today I simply could not tell you in any sort of interesting way. (I did just order bao. I know that happened.)
Some of it, almost certainly, is being overwhelmed. As I was telling a friend earlier today, so much of my response to overwhelm and to new stimuli in particular is to assume that I am doing whatever I am doing incorrectly, because it is stressful, rather than to acknowledge the reasonable and true fact that much of adult life is a little bit overwhelming and you just sort of galumph through it as best as possible.
In this particular case, I was spinning out because the microwave cabinet in my kitchen was removed, it was discovered that there is no 240v outlet in the kitchen, and I have an electric stove arriving tomorrow. I found an electrician; heâs returning tomorrow to run the wire to make the outlet. He seems confident in his ability to do this, though also aware that it will be kind of a pain in the ass, and I have the money to pay him, and absolute worst case scenario it doesnât happen tomorrow and I wind up in exactly the position Iâm currently in, which is to say someone with no oven and a very fancy microwave (now on the floor). Mid-tier scenario I just also have an oven in the living room, whichâthough annoyingâwill not kill me. Certainly I have the room to spare.
I know that the first year-ish of living in a new place is just constant realization of all the things that need to be fixed/walls that need to be painted/art that needs to be hung, and I know that if I stay here that will slow down as I remodel to fix the bathroomâs water damage and the kitchenâs various weirdnesses. But all of it still feels slightly fake for some reason, and so instead I just sort of freeze up and lock my legs and fall asleep like a fainting goat.
With any luck, by this weekend there will be no trace of this ever having been an issue, and Iâll just have a normal kitchen and a storage unit full of microwave.
Shit to read
The vibes, as they say, are bad.
I do have a career but I think a lot about how many millennial fantasies basically rest on that not being a thing that matters, so much.
Turns out online doesnât make us worse, it just makes it harder to walk away from your asshole uncle.
As someone trying to figure out what the fuck the current state of pandemic weâre in means, I resonated very strongly with this piece. I just want, very much, to go back to not this.
Strongbad emails! (I have a crush on every boy!)
Times Square stunt restaurant stunt journalism.
Our ongoing ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ to the whole Aliens Thing is very funny to me.
I enjoy petty complaints about other peoplesâ stupid online behavior.
I missed The Black Art of Escape when it came out at the beginning of August but (though I am obviously not its target audience) I just thought it was fucking phenomenal.
Shit to eat
Half cup of oats, cup of almond milk, pinch of salt, several dashes of cinnamon, embarrassing amount of homemade brown sugar.
In the microwave for 3 and a half minutes.
It will be too watery, but as it sits on your desk because you have slightly forgotten about it, it will congeal in a way that is possibly meaningful but is mostly just useful for turning it into breakfast, rather than a weird hot morning soup.
Shit to listen to
âYouâre not unlucky/youâre just not very smartâ is a banger of an opening line.
Shit to buy
I hope to buy a pink bathtub eventually, but in the interim, I am enjoying the variety of fancy little hooks and light switch plates and things Iâve purchased from these folks.