Emchap's Shit from the Internet 07/29/20 🍠

I am on vacation this week, which is a weird experience in the time of COVID. I don’t own a car and—though I do know how to drive—I haven’t driven in five years and so don’t feel particularly comfortable doing so outside of an emergency. Normally, this is fine; my life is set up so I can walk to daily living things here, and I fly or take a train or carpool when I need to go elsewhere. Of course, most of that isn’t currently an option.

So, it’s been a staycation. I’ve mostly been sleeping and eating as much ridiculous processed food as I want (the major joys left to me), and it mostly feels restorative, if still in a limbo-y sort of state. It’s hard to really feel like much this year is real.

But! I made a pie, and I’ve read a book and a half, and I’ve watched so much early-season Catfish the TV show (everyone on it is so, so dumb), and I’ve gone through most of a box of Ritz. Things are not entirely as bad as they could be.

Shit to read

Shit to drink

  1. Buy a watermelon.

  2. Google, as you always do, “how to cut up a watermelon.”

  3. Cut in half the long way and then long way again. Attempt to follow the instructions to cube half of it, but mostly end up just sort of stabbing around in there. It’s fine.

  4. Put the half a watermelon in a blender or a food processor or whatever you have for this sort of thing.

  5. Whoooosh.

  6. Watermelon juice: very good.

  7. Pour a cup and a quarter into a cocktail shaker with 3 oz of tequila and 2 oz orange juice and some ice.

  8. Shake shake shake shake.

  9. Rim a glass with salt, or don’t.

  10. Pour the chilled contents over ice into that glass.

  11. Have a very enjoyable Zoom happy hour.

(Adapted from the Minimalist Baker)

Shit to listen to

  • Duh. I think so far my favorite songs are The 1 (shut up I am identifying with a Taylor Swift protagonist a NORMAL amount) and cardigan, because I’m unexciting. What about you?

Shit to buy

  • Ice cream sandwiches. Trust me.