Emchap's Shit from the Internet 06/29/22 🍠
I keep having these vague moments on waking where it hits me once again that we overturned Roe v. Wade, that we’re truly in the middle of the takeover by christofascist freaks, that we’re in the middle of the collapse of empire rather than the beginning. And then I have to get up and go to work and write educational modules about how to search code. It feels insane.
I’m sleeping terribly and my shoulders and jaw and neck are sore just from clenching and my period started yesterday and with gusto. I yawned today and my right jaw popped all the way to my ear and the crack let my mouth open a full additional half inch, and it is wild to feel all the ways in which stress accumulates in your physical body.
Tonight my boyfriend invited me out to some new popular place in the Pearl and I went because I like him (which was a mistake, since I hate that genre of restaurant) and they forgot to bring my sandwich out with his and so we waited for 20 minutes hoping that my sandwich would come before I finally went over to ask the manager what the deal was and he got a sandwich from a takeout container and gave it to me, apologetically. It was completely soggy an disappointing and I was about to cry and feeling annoyed with myself for having such a big reaction to a sandwich, but also I was hungry, and also Everything. (The manager was very apologetic and brought us macarons on the house, which I did really enjoy.)
I realized during my long wait for my sandwich that we were sitting on the same block as what used to be my favorite bar in Portland, which closed in the pandemic, and so after dinner we tried to salvage the evening by going to the bar that took its place, which seemed interesting. We stood at the abandoned host stand for a few minutes before giving up and leaving and going to a mid-tier brewery which was packed to drink a beer my boyfriend was interested in; he wound up not liking it and his sandwich upset his stomach.
I caught my bus right as we walked up to the stop, though, and the neighborhood cat (Fidel Catstro) who I had not seen in forever yelled at me from underneath a car while I was walking home, and ran up onto a ledge for me to pet him. I have a massage scheduled tomorrow, and a road trip planned for the weekend. So there’s that, at least.
Only an essay this week, I think. I’m tired and sore and sad and there’s nothing I could post that hasn’t floated across 1,000 instagram infographics this week anyway. I’m hoping to be in bed by 9:30.