Emchap's Shit from the Internet 04/21/21 đ
I got my second dose of the 5G juice on Monday, and thinking ahead of time for once in my life I took yesterday off work on the offchance that Iâd not feel well. (There is nothing less dignified than having to clarify to your boss that youâre not taking off for 4/20 reasons but for MEDICAL ONES THANK YOU.) I woke up feeling fine, and took advantage of that to clean the stovetop of various encrusted Gunks before handsy-kneesy-ing the floor and hand washing my bras and nightgown in the tub, as I am wont to do as a Fancy Sweaty Lady About Town.
And then I realized I felt completely like shit, because of course I did, and flopped dramatically to the couch and stayed there for the rest of the day, pausing only to take my temperature (slightly over 100) and drink Gatorade while watching Marriage or Mortgage.
Marriage or Mortgage, like you might guess from the title, is a show about people who have some money saved up and are trying to decide to spend it on a down payment n a house or a wedding. It is a show designed to infuriate me, personally. Everyone who picks the wedding should not get married. Almost everyone picks the wedding.
As my sister was pointing out (she had her shot a few weeks ago), since I hadnât been sick for a year Iâd kind of forgotten what the experience was like. And, just as I remembered, it went awayâbecause the vaccine side effects seem to only last 24 hours, it was like having a very brief, mild flu. Iâm now impatiently counting down the days until I can go lick subway poles and hug my friends again.
Shit to read
This Mads Mikkelsen interview is just start to finish great.
I absolutely will not be watching Them for 800 reasons, but I thought this in particular on Black horror was really good.
Though I did not have a pandemic affair, having instead gotten pandemic dumped and being pandemic sad about it, I really enjoyed this Haley Mlotek piece about hers.
Fuck I want to have a dinner party.
I loved this piece (written by someone I know from Atlanta) on the history of her house and one of its residents.
This piece on the last menâs hotel in Chicago was just gutting.
Shit to eat
Remember that hamburgers are a thing you can eat.
Buy a pound of ground beef, and some buns, and whatever else you like on burgers.
Break the pound up into 4 oz patties. Discover that you got a free bonus ounce of meat.
Freeze them for 15 minutes.
During that time, heat up your skillet over medium, with butter in it.
Toast the buns in the butter. All bread is better when toasted this way, because itâs not âtoastedâ so much as âfriedâ.
Take the buns out, crank the heat up, toss in some oil, and take out one of your meat lumps.
Smush it down into burger shape, and toss it into the pan. Salt and pepper.
Cook for 2 1/2 minutes on that side. Dodge oil.
Flip, salt and pepper. Put cheese on top. (I recommend pimento, or fake pimento cheese, which is a chopped-up smoked red bell pepper plus some shredded cheddar and a dollop of mayo.)
Leave it for another 2 1/2 minutes.
Put it on top of the toasted bun, with some lettuce.
Enjoy.
(Adapted from Smitten Kitchenâs Fake Shack Burger.)
Shit to listen to
Iâve developed a work friendship based entirely on mutual enjoyment of antifolk band names. That resulted in me being sent âIâm Against the Government,â which bops.
Shit to buy
I just bought this nightgown and got a bunch of supportively thirsty comments from my friends. Itâs very comfortable and supportive and does not make me sweat, which I appreciate as a gross person. (I am laughing at the âwould not wear this around othersâ comments on the reviews because I donât even think I confined that shit to Close Friends; panoramic has broken me.) I would like to buy their other one.