Emchap's Shit from the Internet 02/17/21 đ
Like a lot of people at this point in the panera, I have no more emotional reserves. Every single thing that happens to me happens to the emotional equivalent of a knee thatâs already been skinned, and things that would under normal circumstances be minor inconveniences just make me cry now. I have cried in the last week because, in no particular order:
the cat stepped on me and it hurt because his nails are too long and have been too long for months
a coworker tried to make a joke to me that did not land and hurt my feelings
I do not know all of Docker, a technology I have not worked with at all prior to this job
The cat yelled at me and I couldnât figure out why or how to make him stop
Ross Rayburn, the nice man who lives in my TV workout app, said something nice during a meditation about forgiveness?
I tried to make coffee and forgot to put the bottom part of the Aeropress in and so just dumped coffee grounds on the counter and didnât realize until I was about to pour water in
So itâs been going great.
After I sobbed during that meditation, though, I realized I could probably fix the cat part of things. His nails are too long because if I try to cut them myself he bites me, which makes me feel like a bad pet owner but also I have no training in doing this and itâs a two-person job even at a vetâs office. Normally you can take the cat to the vet and theyâll do it, but I donât own a car and Lyft service has been understandably spotty recently. The thing that I realized during the meditation is that I live in LA and someone would probably drive their ass to me and deal with the cat.
And, in fact, mobile pet grooming is super a thing here. I texted two groomers on Saturday, heard back from one who was not taking new clients but recommended someone who was, texted her, and after she confirmed that I did not want the full spa treatment for me short-haired guttersnipe cat and just wanted someone to cut his nails, she slotted me in for Tuesday. I was worried that there would be issues with parking, but you know, it was fine. The lady was nice. A problem that had been plaguing me for several months was resolved in like 15 minutes, and she cleaned his ears and brushed him out to boot. (She had to stop brushing him because he got too into it and nearly fell off the grooming table in the van.)
It cost an embarrassing sum of money but I had the money and solving problems is what it is ultimately for. The cat no longer hurts me when he tries to stand on me, and the groomer pointed out that he probably has an ear infection; with my newfound tiny little bit of emotional padding I was able to just fucking schedule a reminder to myself to give him ear drops for the next two weeks, which neither of us like but is probably easier now that his hands arenât just knives. I ordered calming treats from Chewy and I have no idea if they do anything but they make me feel better and he likes them.
A former coworker posted something on twitter the other day about how she feels certain that the last year+ has taken years off her life (sheâs the primary custodial single parent of a kid, making this the hardest mode of a hard thing), and itâs things like the last few weeks that make me certain sheâs right. If I stop to think about how much longer it may or may not be until things are less immediately bad in this particular way I will just scream.
Shit to read
So this dude fully sounds like a huge asshole, and just yâknow ignore his weird cancel culture rant at the end that just sounds like âthey got HRâ and âpeople donât like you being a huge assholeâ (which lol @ google being his cancel culture example), but I did think his description of the absolute weirdness of being acquired by a large tech company felt so, so spot on.
Iâm so excited for Patricia Lockwoodâs new book, even though the author is wrong and her most notable contribution is 100% Miette. (Though the Paris Review tweet is very funny.)
And speaking of, I enjoyed this piece by Lockwood about Elena Ferrante tremendously, despite not ever having read a Ferrante book.
The response to this Hola Papi letter is just perfect, and gets right at the heart of what has made everything feel impossible.
Super glad my dad hasnât gotten into Q Anon. Shout out digitally literate parents!
This Shelley Duvall piece is tremendous and heartbreaking.
This Lyz Lenz piece about Seth Abramson is worth reading.
Shit to eat
Because of a thing that is too dumb to get into even in your newsletter blog, spend most of the morning full-on crying in your bathroom.
Realize, as the workday ends, that there is literally no chance of you cooking beans to make nachos.
Order McDonaldâs to be delivered to your house by a company you hate.
Guilt-tip well.
Eat the foodâwhich isnât even good, McDonaldâs has to be eaten in the McDonaldâs to be goodâon your couch.
You ordered fries and a deluxe cheeseburger and mcnuggets and a shamrock mcflurry (it was a really shitty day) and the mcnuggets will be fully missing and the food will be slightly cold and it will still be a gift because you donât have to do dishes.
Shit to listen to
This Jazzkeys thing is so cool! It turns your typing into music.
Shit to buy
If you are for example turning 30 in your house in 3 weeks and full of feelings about how the one birthday youâve really been looking forward to since you were like 10 will be happening under these circumstances, anything! Anything the fuck at all!
But especially these incense cones.
This jumpsuit that looks like a boardgame and this luxury gay space communism joint.
This box of stuff made in LA.
These bath salts.