Emchap's Shit from the Internet 9/6/17 🍠
I just finished my first actual class at The Unicorn Gym I Keep Dropping Into Conversation So Social Pressure Pushes Me to Keep Going. It was great fun! Dim weird club lights and immensely sweet trainers who walked me through the moves since they knew I was new. There were dance breaks and they played "Work From Home" and there was a dildo somehow attached to a large industrial fan. The gym staff responded with polite chuckles when I said I felt like I was going to die. I deadlifted until my thighs gave out.
(Granted, that wasn't that long; I haven't done any sort of strength training in aaaaaaages.)
I am on a Develop Hobbies Outside of Work kick (ask me about my improv class) that makes people think I've just been broken up with (I haven't). It's been good, if expensive. If nothing else, it gives me small dumb goals to work towards (did I show up to the gym and not die? did I show up to improv and not tell a man to go fuck himself after he ignored my object work? did I not tell my OKCupid date that his story was kind of boring even if it was?) in a way that are hella lizard-brain-satisfying in a haze of recent frustrations.
We'll see if it continues! But at least for now it's a good step.
Shit to read
This is more "media to consume" but I'm currently watching Lovesick and it is very meanderingly sweet and I am charmed by the lead actor, cast presumably to look like every boy I had a crush on until the age of 17.
Read this piece on the first American TV show to star an Asian actor, which touches on race and identity and the physical preservation of entertainment history.
Contracting out non-knowledge-work has some super shitty consequences, this article covers them.
I don't care about Princess Diana at all, but the recent Call Your Girlfriend episode touching on her, and this article on older black women and their love for Diana make a compelling case for why folks did or do.
Fuck yeah I'm including a link to another T. Swift thinkpiece.
Shit to eat
In a rare haze of planning ahead, buy some pita bread and bananas on the weekend.
At night, when you return home from your New Hobbies, turn the oven on to 350.
Pop a pita in the oven for 15 minutes.
Leave it in for 17 actual minutes because you're DMing very dumb shit on your couch and don't want to stand up when the timer goes off.
Rummage in the fridge for natural peanut butter that is low-key maybe three months old.
Decide that if there's nothing growing on it it's probably fine.
Spread the peanut butter on the toast pita.
Chop up a banana long-ways and lay the slices on there.
Eat you a toddler dinner while watching Netflix.
Shit to listen to
Like obviously the answer is Taylor Swift Performs Sexuality Badly, a song that I would straight-up leave were I to be in a situation where it cropped up on a Getting It playlist and which I will absolutely drunk-yell to the next time I am in a club in probably mid-2018 or like three months if a Young Person Friend (oh my god does she rhyme "jailor" with "taylor"? jesus christ) takes me to Beauty Bar. (Take me to Beauty Bar, young people; I'm an enthusiastic trash-dancer.) Do we think changing my Tinder profile to lyrics from this song would improve my match percentage or no? The delivery on "he's such a man though" is kind of weirdly baby-voiced actual sexy? Why are we dropping the beat at the beginning like it's 2009? I keep waiting for my friends to like be dropping molly in a sedan while drinking Franzia bladders outside of a club in midtown Atlanta, and the fact that that's NOT what that sound signals anymore is disorienting.
Shit to buy
What do we think of this bar cart? Is it too dorky? I'm trying to find one I like and I'm trying to balance my desire for homegoods with like "will I be mad if I drop $200 on this and then burn it down and escape my entire life by moving to Buenos Aires in 6 moths" so.
I'm really into these tropical throw pillow covers.
It turns out the internet isn't lying, rolling a lacrosse ball under your feet feels AMAZING.