Emchap's Shit from the Internet 7/5/17 🍠
Y'all, what a weird, horrible, stressful week this has been. My June rent check somehow got lost in the mail, and I didn't realize this until I received an email about it on June 22 (I know, I'm awful), and then I sent the money to my landlord but I used red pen on the checks because I wasn't thinking because this is the literal only time I write checks, and so they sent it back, but those were my last two checks and so I needed more checks from my internet bank and they just now got here and I'm worried that (now that my new checks are sealed up in the sticky envelope they sent me) that I wrote the wrong date on the new check and I have no way of checking but also it would be very dumb if I had done that.
I feel entirely like a fuckup while also realizing that the stakes on this are, at their core, pretty low because of an insulation of privilege and the fact that it's way easier to yell at me to pay my rent than it is to evict me. And like why do I care this much, but also, lordt. I don't like it when people are mad at me! I feel garbage silly.
Also also a coworker literally walked up to me today and said "you look sick", which, I wasn't, I was trying to convey "first day back after a long weekend!" with my face so you know feeling GREAT about myself.
But aside from that things are good, so, you know. Got a milkshake.
Shit to read
Over the long weekend I finished both Too Fat, Too Slutty, Too Loud (a look at female unruliness through a quasi-academic lens) and All Grown Up (a collection of short fiction) and I liked them both and recommend them heartily, especially the latter (and I normally hate literary fiction, short fiction in particular, so).
I just about lost my shit at work today and so I am feeling very in to this article on female anger.
Anything I know about clothes I learned from Stacy London, who comes off very well in this Man Repeller interview.
This article on seeing our mothers as they were is lovely, and reminds me that my uncle has offered to let me read my mother's letters to him from her time in Thailand, which I should take him up on.
I love love love Leigh Cowart and this piece on the end of her marriage was really enjoyable.
Shit to eat
Open and drain two cans of artichokes, taking the minimum amount of time required to be horrified at how expensive they are (so expensive).
Toss them in the food processor and pulse until you have smaller bits of artichoke.
Dump it all in a bowl.
Toss in four dollops of mayo. Duke's if you have it, some other brand if you live up or left.
Stir in 2 cups of mozzarella (pre-shredded, store brand, you're just making dip).
Squeeze a lemon's worth of lemon juice in.
Salt, pepper.
Stir.
Drop in a casserole dish and bake at 350 for 30 minutes or so.
Cart that shit to a rooftop party in a cooler neighborhood than the one you live in, populated by people who are younger than you and who all already know each other, and at which you feel hopelessly, profoundly uncool.
Drink a Lot of Jello shots even though you are, you are pretty sure, too old to do so.
Later, after you have shared the B612 gospel with a Young and watched some fireworks and seen like six completely bonkers party things happen, take your Pyrex home with you.
First, though, scrape out the little remaining dip into a bowl, and give it to a drunk man who will thank you.
Shit to listen to
"Anything Goes" is completely perfect trash country, a genre that I love, and is made sweeter by the memory of accidentally tricking a somewhat staid engineer into listening to it at some point because I am That Person like 99% of the time. America, WOOHOO. LIQUOR AND TRUCKS.
Shit to buy
A milkshake. It won't help with the anxiety, but, milkshake. Gives you something to drink until you realize a man is staring at you on the train every time you put the straw in your mouth, at which point you stop.
Shelves. They seem impossibly adult to me and I refuse to analyze why.
Aerie has a $25 one piece sale going on. I have a work beach day thing coming up (feel free to send your feelings about whether this sounds fun or hellish, people tend to fall on one side or the other) and am considering getting this one because I am a trash person. (Counterpoint: my current swimsuit does not require the level of grooming that the cut on this one would so.)
Maybe this one on the misplaced hope that it will give me the assular region of the model (it will not).
I want to get this I Don't Work Here mug but that might spark a Talk even though it would make me laugh.