Emchap's Shit from the Internet 6/7/17 🍠
Please know that this week's installment only exists because my gentle work friends reminded me to write it as I was drinking a Hell or High Watermelon (the beer of my personal summer) in the kitchen before a goodbye party for our departing head of People.
This week, my chunk of the company will be participating in our first post-acquisition hackathon, a tradition at the company that acquired us. The new parent company values this tradition, and the gentle competition and pizza consumption and frenzy that it brings. There's coding, and winners, and it's a good time.
It has become apparent that my chunk of the company has the competitive drive of a naked mole rat, an animal that lives entirely in groups and huddles with its companions to survive.
We are all working on everyone's projects. No one wants to win. We all gently want everyone to succeed. No one wants to work for 24 hours.
We're all going to put in 8, together, some of it on very stupid projects that we all find funny and joyful or petty in the way that's kind of fun if it's not your in-group you're being petty at, and then we'll go home (or to the parts of our homes that aren't also our offices, for the parts of the company that are remote).
One of my coworkers suggested that we all set up a barter market for the tangible goods that we all make outside of work (we all have a Thing to combat the meaninglessness of knowledge work) and the concept was genuinely praised.
We are the Montessori day school of the hackathon concept.
I am profoundly glad that that is the case.
Shit to read
I am a profoundly anxious person and this article on not dwelling was funny and comforting in equal measure.
This is an article about reach people and cults, just go read it, it's nuts.
I'm quoted in this MEL Magazine article as an authority on what men should do on the Tinder profiles, which like what the fuck do I know and the answer is "more than men who date women, apparently", so go check it out.
DID YOU KNOW SPIDERS FOLLOW LASER POINTERS AND CAN SEE THE MOON.
Shit to eat
Realized you have half a bag of frozen spinach, some good sourdough, a huge chunk of mozzarella that you don't know what to do with, and some mushrooms along with a vague recollection of this recipe.
Melt a knob of butter and a splash of canola oil in the cast iron.
Half-heartedly wash and chop the mushrooms and toss them in there. Add a few cloves of garlic.
Wonder why you were never taught how to properly wash vegetables; wonder if this will kill you eventually.
Remember to stir the mushrooms while contemplating your death.
Toss in the spinach and step back for a second because it's frozen and thus popping the oil.
Stir that shit around for a while.
Snap a photo so you can document this for your #brand (which is what we're calling an ongoing silly documentation of the food you cook that is sent to a small subset of your family/internet friends).
Toast some bread. If you are too lazy to own a toaster (same) preheat the oven to 300 in step 0 and put the bread in until now.
Tear the bread up into chunks and sort of shove it into the spinach.
Save half a slice to eat with a chunk of relatively flavorless mozzarella.
Cut up a few pieces of cheese and stick them on top of the bread.
Cover the pan and wait 10 minutes and try not to think about how much of a pain it's going to be to scrub cheese off of cast iron.
Aump.
Shit to listen to
This Julie Ruin song about Feminist Men is vicious and hilarious and great. God it's so good. Go listen to it now. Go listen to some Le Tigre now. Just do it.
Follow it with "Straight Outta Vagina", a Pussy Riot song that begins with the great line, "Does your vagina have a brand?"
Shit to buy
Do you have a place where you can buy a crêpe like this? Do so. You deserve it.
This inclusively-sized (sort of) jeans brand seems cool, and they offered me 20% off when I emailed to get a size chart, so that's chill. Get some classic jeans.
I get hella compliments on every eShakti item I wear to work. Just do it. Shipping takes forever, but like, you can be Jumpsuit Girl or Yellow Pants Lady at work, it's great.