Emchap's Shit from the Internet 5/2/18 🍠
Today is the fifth anniversary of my mother's death from bile duct cancer; as you might imagine, I'm very sad.
My mom died a little over a week week before I graduated from Emory and my sister received her associates from Oxford; as you might imagine, the photos from that weekend are kind of grim to look back on, and we look exhausted.
The last semester of college, I was working full time from 2-10pm at MailChimp while attending classes at Emory during the day; I spent the year watching my mother have cancer, recover from surgery that had removed the cancer, and then go through the process of dying from the cancer when it returned. I was an unhappy college student anyway, and the exhaustion of the last semester wore me down so badly that I remember very little of it, even though I know on some intellectual level that I loved that job and I loved my classes.
The thing I do remember from that year and the period after is how profoundly kind the community around my family was to us. My friend brought me a bottle of gin as a cried on her the night I found out the cancer had come back. I texted her when my mom died and she took charge of making sure everyone knew so that I didn't have to tell them, and I was so grateful not to have to have the conversation.
A friend who did very early-morning babysitting in the neighborhood was distraught when she went in to work the next day, having found out; her boss was as well, and in talking they discovered that the family she worked for was friends with my parents. My thesis advisor, when I told her I needed to drop the thesis because I just couldn't, never once made me feel guilty about my choices. Work sent flowers.
When I went to Oxford for my sister's graduation, my old professors and deans sought me out and hugged me and made me feel marginally less awful. When we had the memorial service a while later, the woman who'd been my sister and my's academic advisor came, along with the chaplain from Oxford, and I was so glad to see them.
I miss my mom every time David Sedaris publishes a new piece that I can't send to her. I am so, so grateful for the community that surrounded me during the worst few years and which surrounds me now.
Shit to read
I loved, loved, loved this piece on the hyper-local, lady-led internet of the 90s, when much of the internet was weirder.
This is a little interview with the authors of the most-cited study on Wikipedia, and I love it.
Vida looks really great, and this interview with one of the actors was fascinating.
Happy day-after May Day: you should check out this piece on the past century's dream of the four-hour work day and what happened.
I've been thinking a lot about management as a craft recently, and I enjoyed this article on the concept of a designated asshole.
My friend sent me this old (1997) article on fanfiction on the online, and it includes the phrase "nom de Net" and it's worth your time.
I will read most things Leandra Medine writes, and this look at how people respond to her selfies now that her children are born is no exception.
This article made me want to buy some MSG.
Shit to eat
After spending a morning intermittently crying, arrive at lunch.
Intend to eat tuna salad on crackers.
Instead, pull tortillas and butter and refried black beans and cheese and the ripest avocado in your house.
Heat up a pan. Put some butter in it. Keep the heat low so you don't burn the fuck out of the tortilla before the cheese melts.
(This is, you are pretty sure, a tendency that you inherited from your mother.)
On one side of a tortilla, spread black beans. Add dots of cheddar, and diced avocado.
Once the butter is melted, transfer the whole mess to the skillet, and put the second tortilla on top.
Once cheese has melted, use a spatula and whatever other thing you have around (a knife, in my case; maybe a second spatula in yours) to flip everything over.
Pat yourself on the back for not spilling everything on the floor.
When the second side is browned and everything is melty, transfer to a plate.
Use your newly-sharp chef's knife to cut everything into sixths.
Pile the sixths on top of each other so everything looks vaguely plated instead of just on a plate.
Use the sour cream you have in your fridge (the squirt kind, which is a REVELATION) to fill the gaps between the pieces.
Eat on your couch while watching Aggretsuko.
Shit to watch
If you live in Los Angeles: me! This Friday! At 8pm! More info here! (I will be living out my dreams and doing standup about the Salesforce mascots. That's not a joke, it's a true thing that is happening.)
This is a super fascinating short documentary about a man who lives on cruise ships full time.
The emotion picture from Janelle Monáe's most recent album is so good.
Shit to buy
I love these gold leather earrings.
And these lucite ones.
Obvi into these big geometric metal ones.
These are expensive, but the blue is so beautiful.
If you use EMILYCHAPMAN57 as a checkout code on eShakti and haven't bought from them before, you'll get $35 off and free shipping (and I get a $25 kickback). With that said, my code or no, you should buy this flamingo dress and this bonkers wave dress and this faintly Orla Kiely looking thing or this very 60s shift. Also consider green, sequins, scallop hem and this incredibly cute contrast-piped skirt.