Emchap's Shit from the Internet 5/17/17 🍠
Guyssssss this week has been weird and kind of awful and anxiety-producing (my scalp hurts and I throw up when I'm anxious now, I guess, my continued occupancy in this meatsack is a series of small indignities), but BUT I got approved to speak at BullCon 2017, so, buy your tickets now because I'm fucking hilarious.
BUT EMILY you might ask, what will you be talking about, and the answer is Tools, systems, and processes: A quietly profane, rambling ode to keeping as little stuff as possible in your head because you might get hit by a bus or just not want to think about it so that's where we're at.
It's gonna be great.
Shit to read
You know what is great is this-ass article about an exotic animal vet and a duck full of egg yolks which what the fuck.
The Mountain Goats have a new album out and you can stream it here and think about SoCal goths, but what you should 9000% do is also read this article from the Toast which is a few years old and my favorite thing on the internet.
I (and everyone else) read the My Family's Slave article this week and I am not in any way qualified to comment on it but I was interested in the MeFi thread about it and specifically this comment.
This story about a serial killer is fascinating and awful and worth reading.
Shit to eat
After spending four days in a row crying in your car on the way home from work, decide to apply for a new job.
At loose ends for where, decide to see if your one nice user is hiring.
Go to their website. See they are.
Apply.
Realize, after you've sent the application, that you actually applied to their parent company. (They'll inform you of this, gently.)
Start working at the company you meant to apply to in the first place after negotiating your hiring via email through your phone in your best friend's care in Austin.
Stop crying in your car.
Cry in your house because you're working from home and going through a weird awful breakup.
Finish the breakup.
Move to New York.
Fall in and out of a few ill-advised emotional Things and eat your feelings about it and wait until your workplace hires a new workplace experience manager.
Notice that she's started stocking chocolate almonds.
On a day where you've found out about a new conference talk and stress-vomited in the bathroom AGAIN because feelings are garbage and men are challenging and not very consistent friends generally and everything is a Lot, wander to the kitchen.
Eat a handful of chocolate almonds.
Feel better.
Shit to listen to
This video is made entirely of aesthetic watch it SUPER A BUNCH.
Shit to buy
My literal only recommendation is this milk frother which two separate women told me was lifechanging and they had purchased it for their mothers, so, do with that what you will.