Emchap's Shit from the Internet 4/5/17 🍠
I'm not sad because I am in Austin, where I have reverted to my normal state of very slight sweatiness due to the omnipresent heat. I used to say that I'm 10% hotter anywhere outside of my home region because I am always slightly sweaty here, but I got to say I think I look better with the vague sheen than with my skin literally flaking off. (That said my legs are still chalky af so that's a whole thing.)
Several of the people I love most in the world are here and with god as my witness I'm going to fourth meal a Torchy's, so, that's where we're at.
Shit to read
This site is a hackathon for terrible ideas and I fucking cried laughing at it.
CW fucking everything, but this story about human trafficking in Nigeria is compelling and I think does generally a good job of avoiding some of the common pitfalls of writing about sex workings and trafficked persons. It's long and difficult to read and really, really well done.
This article on what the author assumed was identity theft winds up touching on the weaknesses of the databases used to identify people for traffic violations, etc. and touches on the racial aspects of broken windows policing. The ending is kinda bleh but the story that makes up the bulk of the piece is super fascinating.
I bought a new mattress, not a new mattress pad, but I love this weird little humor piece.
Shit to eat
Get on a flight at JFK at 8:30 in the morning in the only terminal in the entire northeast which doesn't, somehow, have a goddamn Dunkin Donuts.
Arrive sometime around 11:30 am CT, sweaty from a whole Middle Seat Situation.
Call your best friend to discuss Dumb Comments About the South. Make plans to see her later.
Drink a Lot at a Group Fun Trivia Thing where at one point your friend will tell you your rhombus drawing is bad and it will slightly hurt your drunk feelings.
Call friend and summon her to your hotel.
Agree to wait until she is done baking shortbread.
When she arrives with a bag full of shortbread half an hour later, eat half of it in front of her.
Leave the ziplock in your purse.
The next day, when you are recovering from Socialization, remember you have half a bag of shortbread baked by someone who loves you, and eat it.
Shit to listen to
My friend sent me this podcast and I am SUPER EXCITED to listen to it, I bet you will be too.
Shit to buy
Have you considered flying to Austin, going to the South Congress Cafe, and purchasing carrot cake french toast? I'm just putting that out there as an option.
I just bought straight-up catnip balls for my smol friend and I am very excited to get the cat high as helllll off of them.
I've been thinking of getting a subscription to HelloFresh. Thoughts?