Emchap's Shit from the Internet 4/12/17 🍠
This has been a pretty good week, y'all. Like I don't have any amusing stories particularly, but I got to sit on a patio full of ambitious-ass women last night drinking rosé in the spring, and the daffodils are out, and I got the nicest email from a friend on my behalf, and I haven't cried on the couch once. Plus I'm like an hour from drinking cocktails in a basement with a dude who knows his way around a sourdough starter, and there are worse things.
Shit to read
Ask Polly often feels like a gut punch, in a sort of emotionally productive way, and "Anger is sometimes the filter through which those of us who were taught to 'be tough' experience all of our emotions. We feel scared, we feel sad, we feel frustrated, we feel invisible: Those emotions are forced through a sieve and only anger comes out....We have to accept who we are: broken robot women with bad brains" was more of one than usual.
After chatting with my terrifyingly ambitious friend who convinced me to buy the field jacket from a few weeks back, I started reading about the u-bend of happiness. I recently was asked what I want to be like at 65, and my answer remains that I want to live in a small modernist house with a view of something and a lot of flowy clothes and volunteer at a museum. I'm thinking Scottsdale.
This article on having a stomach parasite and the male gaze reminded me of a family story: when my mother was ill with the cancer that eventually killed her, she ran into an acquaintance who said she just she just looked so good, and what was her secret. My mother said "cancer," as it was true, and the woman was of course mortified. This story still makes me laugh like a fucking loon.
The particular fuckedness of how gig economy apps prey on the poor is worth exploring.
I enjoy mean restaurant reviews of very expensive restaurants.
Shit to eat
On a whim, buy a box of brownie mix. Not the family size, because we're not on that level.
Probably some vegetable oil? Realize you have lived in New York for a year and a half and haven't bought vegetable oil yet.
You own olive, you're not a monster.
Throw in some white chocolate chips.
Put two eggs and half a cup of that sweet, sweet vegetable oil into the mix in the one mixing bowl you own.
Stir.
Add a handful of chips.
Stir.
Smaller handful.
Stir again.
Remember some pretzel thins are in your pantry and it doesn't matter if they're stale. Mash them up with your hands.
Sprinkle in, like, half a cup? A cup?
Stir again.
Pop that ish into the oven for 10 minutes past what the time says on the box because your oven runs cold constantly.
Wait 10 minutes after it comes out of the oven.
Eat from the pan with a spoon.
Shit to listen to
I reread Amy Rose Spiegel's Action over the weekend (super recommend, it's great and fun), and this video of her talking about her home and her #aesthetic is worth watching.
Shit to buy
I really want agate coasters? Like they're kind of cheeseball but kind of great and I'm into it.
Does anyone own one of these freaky blow driers that is also a brush? Like I kind of think that it might get me to blow dry my hair more often than I currently do, which would be good because my hair looks unquestionably better that way, but, I dunno.
This enamel pin is one we can all aspire to.