Emchap's Shit from the Internet 3/21/18 🍠
Normally, I like to have a big Thing that I orient each week's newsletter around. (Often, in New York, this was whatever nightmarish thing happened to me on my commute home on Wednesday.) I sat down to write this today and realized I didn't have anything at top of mind. I looked back through my last week's calendar, and realized I had had a pretty calm week.
(Granted, a friend and I did go to the Black Velvet Museum/Velveteria, which was completely bananapants, and involved both a room of specifically erotic black velvet art and a room of blacklight-responsive black velvet art. Also multiple black velvet portraits of Trump as a centaur. But like, that only took a half hour or so.)
(Also I went to Santa Monica on Sunday with friends and had an amazing caprese sandwich, shoutout to the former colleague/current not-a-subscriber to the newsletter who recommended it.)
BUT those two weekend excursions aside, by my standards this was a pretty calm last week. My big emotional event last week was that I hung all of my art, and made some really good lentils (since these aren't the subject of the next section, I will say that just like the commenters note, using ground cumin is fine, you can put a whole can of diced tomatoes in there rather than just the cup, and just boring Goya green lentils work just fine). I think I've finally passed the point of being someone who is Moving To LA, and have settled into just being someone who lives here. My social calendar is settling in to my normal routine of seeing friends and buying expensive art jewelry and debating whether I can wear comfy leggings to bars. It's nice! I'm excited to take an emotional breather after the last few months.
Shit to read
Homeless women suffer tremendously high rates of sexual assault and their chances of recourse are vanishingly small.
A compelling argument that the MTA sucks because of how it regulates train speed, not just because of overcrowding/old machinery/tunnel repair.
This McSweeney's piece on sales words made me laugh so hard I choked.
As someone who donates a lot of clothes, I am curious what happens to them. The answer is (at least in the US) that a lot of it goes to Mexico.
This piece on DNA testing your dog is great and sweet.
There's a bit near the end of this Esquire piece on astronauts that made me clutch my heart, and I bet you'll know it when you see it.
Shit to eat
Due to the fact that you've stopped eating breakfast regularly, ate lunch at 3pm, and now are weirdly pseudo-hungry without wanting to make dinner, settle on the bright idea of a mug brownie.
Don't use an actual mug, because you won't be baking this and you only one one currently-functional mug, your other one having developed a crack in transit.
On the stove (because you don't own a microwave, because you own a toaster oven) melt a tablespoon and a half of butter. You can also just use the weird knob of butter left from cooking. There's always one around.
Pour that into a highball glass. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons milk (or, if you're me, a splash of cream and some water) and some vanilla.
In goes 3 tablespoons of sugar and 2 of cocoa powder. If you have the special dark kind Hershey's makes because you have yet to go buy Nice Cocoa Powder, it will make a hilariously goth brownie.
Stir stir stir with a fork or whatever.
Add 1/4 cup (4 tablespoons, if you don't want to dirty another measuring item) flour and stir stir stir.
Theoretically you can put this in the microwave for a minute, but a) you don't own a microwave b) why so just eat it with the fork that you're using as a sad, not-very-good spoon.
(Adapted from How to Bake Everything, which is of course as excellent as every other Bittman cookbook)
Shit to listen to
I have been recommended this episode of Switched on Pop (about "Make Me Feel", with Lizzo) by two people whose taste I respect entirely, and I'm passing that recommendation on to you.
Shit to buy
I bought this not-a-Sodastream because Wirecutter says it's good and because it will allow me to carbonate wine.
And I bought these powerstrips because you never have them when you need them. Next up: cotton pads and some rechargeable batteries. (I am not an exciting person.)
I'm kind of interested in this off-the-shoulder bodysuit? It has sleeves.
And I loveeeee this striped shirt with the same cut.
Also this black v-neck bodysuit.
AND this button-up bodysuit?