Emchap's Shit from the Internet 2/14/18 🍠
I have not, as an adult, owned a new couch.
My first apartment, my senior year of college, the couch was furnished by my roommate. (I think. I have no memory of what the couch was at all, which is slightly troubling in retrospect.) It served its purpose and went, presumably, away with her when we moved out at the end of the year.
In my second apartment, a 300 square foot studio in midtown Atlanta (right across from the park, with a full-sized loft bed that was a DUMB idea, for $800 a month), it was a black couch with a hinged back and fold-down arms, to make a sort of bed. It was $25 used on Craigslist, and it was the least comfortable couch I or anyone else has ever owned. It kept me company with the rest of my uncomfortable furniture during a year in which I primarily slept and grieved and adopted a cat (who learned to climb the bunk bed ladder).
After that, I moved to a house I shared with two other girls near Grant Park. (This remains my favorite place I have lived. It was a beautiful, badly-maintained house, the rent was stupid cheap, and I was within walking distance of one of my favorite coffee shops.) They required that I bring a couch with me; they had already acquired a dining table from me when I moved out of the first apartment and it had stayed with them after. (I later re-inherited the table when its owner went off to divinity school.) That couch was a $50 beige microfiber three-seater bought off a former internet coworker's boyfriend (from my first internet job, as a 20-year-old!) who was getting rid of his furniture in a move to Los Angeles.
That couch migrated with me to New York until I got to a moment where it inexplicably infuriated me. It was swapped for a used Kivik with chaise, purchased off AptDeco for $400 (making it the second most expensive furniture in my house, after my mattress, which had only replaced a secondhand mattress bough off a high school friend after my coworkers started making fun of me).
The Kivik is/was a wonderful couch (miss u) but stayed in New York with a friend who took it upstate. This was how I found myself this last weekend on a street near Koreatown populated entirely with furniture stores. I wound up there on the advice of a woman I met at a Super Bowl party, who said that a store there had made her a custom couch for $600. Since I am a) very cheap about a lot of things and did not relish spending $800 on a couch online b) a sucker for mild adventure, this was a compelling pitch.
I wandered into eight furniture stores, all about the size of a living room, all with giant fabric swatch booklets strewn around. Some stores seemed to do custom work; some did not. The rules were profoundly unclear to me.
But, in the last shop I tried, the man working the floor was nice. I asked if they did custom work, and he said they could make me a version of the couches up at the front of the store in any of the book fabrics. I liked the couch, and in the giant fabric swatch books I found a light green velvet that seemed fun and slightly weird, and asked if that was an option. For $603 after tax and delivery, it was, and I am excited to see what couch I am ultimately brought.
Shit to read
This profile of Jimmy Buffet was a profoundly compelling look at what happens when a sort of slacker persona dude gets rich (even if he is not actually really a slacker), and does not laugh at its subject or Buffet's fans, and is great.
This longread about the downfall of Seattle's mayor in the wake of sexual assault allegations provides a super interesting look at the relationship one has to one's boss when working in politics, and I think gives a pretty sympathetic view of why good people can have a hard time believing assault allegations when it's about someone they know (even if it's the right thing to do).
Always here for dunking on the Times opinion section.
I am obsessed with broken engagement suits because I read a lot of Jeeves and Wooster as a teen; I heartily recommend this article about them.
This piece on Michelle Obama's portrait has been making the rounds, and I think contextualizes the portrait in a way that's super interesting if (like me) you were not previously very aware of its artist.
I love hate-reading NYT wedding coverage more than I love anything, and this article is a peak of the form. Transhumanist objectivist burners who want to establish autonomous sea states and date their much-younger employees fresh off the heels of a divorce! Bliss.
I completely without shame love Bridget Jones' Diary, which I did not watch until I was maybe 24 or 25, and I recommend this dissection of why it's so good relative to other films that aped its pieces.
Did you know we used to test for pregnancy by injecting urine into frogs? It's fascinating.
I really, really enjoyed this essay about a children's book that focuses on living a wonderful (as in full of wonders) life and in which romance doesn't play a part. I haven't ever read the original book, but the essay is I think still well worth reading, particularly if (like me, like a lot of people) you tend to have difficulty conceiving of a fulfilled life without some sort of long-term partner.
Shit to eat
Drive to the nearest Del Taco. I realize this may take a minute.
Order their cheesecake bites.
You will receive an order of 2 or 4 quarter-sized chimichangas (or sweet eggrolls, depending on how you wish to frame it) full of cheesecake.
The insides will be lined with caramel.
They will be fresh out of the fry basket, but not so fresh that they burn you.
Eat them, and spend the rest of the next day daydreaming about trash dessert food, and contemplate ordering more.
Shit to listen to
Michelle Obama made her husband a Spotify playlist for Valentine's, apparently, and it's very nice. Remember when our president was better?
I think Hating On Valentine's Day is goofy, but I also thin that this anti-Valentine's playlist has some superb bops.
Shit to buy
My Valentine's plans are going to Target to buy lamps (and hair gel and bobby pins). LIVING LIFE. Specifically I want to buy this lamp.
Possibly also this one, because it's shaped like a llama.
And this one is just cute (yes I realize two of these three are from the children's section).
I am eagerly awaiting my first order from The Ordinary, but if you're jumping ship in light of the CEO turning out to be a nightmare, this thread of dupes has you covered.
I LOVE this linen jumpsuit.
I bought a bunch of kaftans from this Etsy shop—have you ever wanted reasonably-priced, customizable caftans? Then I have GOOD NEWS for you.