Emchap's Shit from the Internet 10/9/19 🍠
I live alone. Generally speaking, I like it very much (I was not a good roommate on either end of the transaction) but periodically I do wish someone else around. The cat was no use when I inhaled and choked on a bit of egg last week, you know?
I was reminded of this when a bigass jute rug arrived a my house this week, courtesy of rugs.com and a can-do spirit poisoned by home decoration blogs ("save money by spending only $500 to layer a jute rug beneath a smaller area rug rather than $700 for a larger patterned rug," my ass).
The whole thing is 6' x 9'. I am 5'5" at best. When it showed up on my porch, I was not entirely certain what to do. I complained about it to a friend who said he believed in my ability to leverage leverage, which was mild to moderately encouraging.
Because my living room also houses my office, space in general is tight. So, it took some maneuvering to get the coffee table and TV stand squared away in a way that would give me room to work. (The cat gave me a look of scorn before fleeing to sleep in the closet when he heard me mutter "motherfucker" and a very stationary table I managed to hurt myself on.)
I was able to flop the whole assembly down on the floor and begin the process of unwrapping it at that point. (I had wisely pre-grabbed the kitchen scissors, as my path to the back of the house was cut off by the furniture shoving.) This was mostly without incident minus a few holes I managed to puncture in the actual rug while attempting to remove 7 layers of plastic casing.
It unrolled easily enough, and at that point I began to test my friend's faith in my leveraging ability. Very carefully, I managed to wedge a couch onto my shoulder as I slid the rug beneath it on one side and then the other. It took several trips back and forth to get it mostly even (this, like all things in my house, being eyeballed). At that point, the relayering of the smaller area rug and the coffee table went quickly enough, as the end was in sight.
I'm proud of how it looks (the decorating blogs were right!) and true to my friend's guess, I was able to get it into place alone. I doubt I'll be on my own forever, but there is absolutely something satisfying about maneuvering an object larger than yourself if you have to.
Shit to read
I love someone going after an unfunny man.
Children are good, actually.
This woman lost her legs in an MTA accident and has the best twitter account.
Wash your dishes all the way!!
Jennifer's Body is a self-evidently queer film that was apparently perceived very differently when it came out, and this article made me want to go look up the 2009 Discourse on it.
Chicago: wholesome.
So many wild and weird ways to be a person.
Children were a thing in the middle ages!
I loved this poem.
And this one.
Shit to eat
I am putting in an order for that horrible cheez it pizza the moment I send this out.
No joke.
You should too.
Shit to listen to
Dessa reveling in rejection.
Shit to buy
See that food section.