Emchap's Shit from the Internet 07/31/19 🍠
I have spent most of the last few days listening to Chance the Rapper's new album on loop. It is super danceable rap primarily about how much he likes his wife, which (as you might imagine from my taste in comedy) is extremely my jam. The parts that aren't about how much he likes his wife are about buying real estate in Atlanta/how quitting smoking has improved his sense of taste, so. Like, tell me this isn't great.
(This letter caused me to google how old he is, and the answer is "the same age as my younger sister", and brb I'm going to sink into the earth now.)
It's been a tremendously weird and stressful couple of weeks for me. Work is busy and I'm going to be in Atlanta soon, and I'm having my every-few-months stressful "what do I want my life to be like" freakout as I try to decide whether I want to buy a house in Atlanta and invest in furniture that I don't have to move every 18 months.
I had therapy today, and it was good and weird as it always is. It's easy to feel like you're having profound revelations in therapy in Los Angeles if you schedule your appointments at the end of the day, because every time I come out of my therapist's office and walk to the train we're sliding into golden hour and everything is LA pretty and the shadows are making the flowers look especially profound. Self-realization seems particularly important if everything around you smells like jasmine, you know?
Today, layered on top of that was the fact that I saw a parrot (one of the same kind that I have tattooed on me) fly across the sky and into a palm tree as my train arrived. Omens are bullshit, but it seemed like a good sign.
Shit to read
So weird how I apparently wrote this Ask Polly question in my sleep.
God youtube has really just revealed that we are all freaks.
Yes I will read all love scam content now and forever.
Thee and thou terms, motherfuckers.
Shit to eat
In a fit of Healthy Choices, buy sweet potato noodles. (Poodles?)
Wait until you're sort of concerned they might have gone bad.
They probably won't kill you, right?
Heat up a skillet.
When it's hot, add some oil.
When that's hot, add the noodles.
Cook for 5 or 10 minutes, until they look sort of cooked.
Put half a cup of peanut butter in a bowl. The hippie shit.
Add four tablespoons of rice vinegar and sesame oil.
If you're an adult with her shit together, add the same of soy sauce. If you don't have soy sauce, add some boulion powder. No shame in your game.
Add some hot sauce if you have some.
Add half a cup of water.
Whisk everything together. If you store your peanut butter in the fridge, you will begin to regret it.
Once you've given your arms a workout, dump everything into the skillet.
Cook until everything is heated through and thickened.
Dinnertime. Put everything but the bagel seasoning on it if you're being fancy/are out of sesame seeds.
Shit to listen to
Shit to buy
I bought two more of this bra today. It's real good.
The good good hair goop.
Who makes good plus-sized boyfriend jeans? Asking for a me.