Emchap's Shit from the Internet 07/24/19 🍠
I had an unusually out-and-about social weekend this last weekend—brunch with a pair of friends who I want to get to know better in a neighborhood I want to see more of, followed by brunch with a former-coworker/current friend that I have somehow known for three and a half years, which is bananas to me. (We met while in Puerto Rico and furiously yelling about—if memory serves—user research, and then I got tanked and ate a fish stuffed full of other, smaller fish. And thus was a friendship born!)
The first was at a different vegan beer hall than my normal vegan beer hall (LA is great), and the second involved the very smug feeling of wandering in for a solid Dine LA menu that did not involve me in any way confronting the around-the-block line for Nashville hot chicken that was happening in the same mall.
(It was 11 in the morning on a Sunday, why did so many people want to eat fried chicken that was angry at them.)
It's been a frustrating week—I want my counters to stop being hot to he touch and I want the fruit flies in my house (so many!) to die and I want to stop sweating when I change the sheets. I have very little energy to do much beyond drink Hell or High Watermelon on my couch and eat cold foods and watch Vanderpump Rules (so many episodes of such terrible people!).
But! I got brunch and I got a raise and I am meeting a friend for Fancy Dranks later this week. Now that the sun is down, things are cooling off. It could be worse!
Shit to read
The title is cheeseball as shit, but I read this self-help book about attachment styles this week, and as someone who often finds the genre shamey and dumb but who is a profoundly anxious person at my core, I found its central message of "codependency theory really was just supposed to be applied to children of alcoholics; wanting things from your partner is normal and fine; if people flee from you in the face of intimacy it's on them, not you" to be deeply comforting! I am absolutely just writing this book report to remind me to talk about it with my therapist tomorrow!
Crane Wife touches on, uh, the same thing as the self-help book, and I was comforted by it. It's a tremendous piece and made me furious in a very cathartic way.
Fuck this friend's tedious-ass boyfriend. (This is the friend's boyfriend version of the Ask a Manager "tell them to their face" advice.)
Here's the longread piece we're all obsessed with this week! #grift2019
As someone with awful teeth from a family of people with awful teeth (mine are just easily ruined but visibly fine due to childhood access to dental care; my dad has been a map for what happens to that same genetic luck without that), I loved this.
As a woman who's 5'5" and north of 200 lbs, this made me very angry!
Part of why I've been wearing my blazer so much recently is because I don't have to carry a bag. (That said, so many of the men I know carry pouches on their person!)
This thread about what things about the Youths teachers have noticed made me sob.
Whole jobs I never knew existed.
Everything is bad, Christ.
A room of one's own, etc.
Shit to eat
Go to the taco place nearest you.
Order whatever the fanciest torta is they offer. Pay in cash.
Get a diet coke.
Stare off into space long enough that the guy has to shout at you to get your attention when your delicious monstrosity of a sandwich is ready.
Fuck, it's so hot.
Take the sandwich and wander home quick enough to not sweat while standing still and slowly enough not to sweat while moving.
Eat on the couch, while trying to touch as little of your body to the couch as humanly possible.
Save half for dinner and eat it cold.
Shit to listen to
This is an amazing music video for a funny song about a friend's shitty boyfriend. Tove Lo kills a man and dyes her roots while on the phone. "He's a bitch with some expectations" is an amazing, dismissive line. The acting from both Tove Lo and the woman playing her friend on the "did you blow him on his birthday/did you let him come on your tits/were you in any way emotionally demanding of him" exchange is perfect, especially the part where the friend concedes that maybe she texted too much. Tove Lo's abandoned boyfriend debating at what point he can eat his dinner is amazing. Tove Lo reassuring her friend while surrounded by adolescent penguins is perfect. Every part of this brings me joy. Tove Lo for replacement electronica Jenny Lewis.
Shit to buy
I bought a tub and sink shroom so my hair stops destroying my plumbing; I like them.
And I bought this shoe spray because my feet smell revolting; it seems to work. (Shoutout Jolie Kerr for the recommendation.)
Buy Because Internet, a book on internet linguistics from one of my favorite Twitter mutuals.