Emchap's Shit from the Internet 05/27/20 🍠
I have had a small but good victory in this last week, and it is making a loaf of bread that turned out just tremendously well. Tender and soft like wonderbread and it cut like a dream (though for all I know that was simply owning a good bread knife). I made a grilled cheese with it and some fontina and some reduced lettuce soup for lunch today, and it was good as fuck. (I cut it on the diagonal, because I am not a monster. I froze the loaf basically immediately because it's possible that I actually am.)
My other great joy for the week has been introducing a college friend to Riverdale, a truly stupid, horny show, and watching her text me as she discovers that truly, I was not joking about Archie's stirring sermon about high school football or the youth prison fight club or the corpse incest etc etc etc. The show is a dense text, as I am constantly texting her in response to her going "hey does Chad Michael Murray run a doomsday cult in this show".
In other small news, the nonstick pan that I ordered a few weeks ago arrived, where it will replace my college-era cheapest-rung Ikea nonstick, and it is a gigantic thing with an insulated handle and it is an object of such complete beauty, and I am so, so excited to use it. (Which I will, since truly the only things I'm able to do at this point are cook and buy hair products online.) I'm gonna make that stupid tik tok breakfast sandwich where you cook everything in one big piece of egg and bread and it's gonna be good as hell.
Shit to read
Sexy weasels in old art.
So it turns out Yesterday, a movie that is stupid, was originally a much more interesting film whose story got modified when the screenplay as bought.
I thought this interview about the death of the restaurant industry truly, truly was fascinating.
Wrap yourself up in masks, fuck it.
I'm not a vegetarian anymore, but I liked this.
Always cool to see Senegal in the news.
Shit to eat
Boil some lightly salted water in a pot. Toss frozen broccoli in there for a few minutes until it looks not frozen.
Scoop it out, add more salt, and toss in some pasta. Cook it for a few minutes less than you ought to. Five?
Scoop that all out, put it with the broccoli in a bowl, and put the pot back on the heat.
Put a tablespoon of flour and of butter in the pot. Melt it all together like you do when this is the start of the recipe, and cook it for a second so it doesn't taste like flour.
Squirt in some mustard and some paprika and some salt. Season it with your heart.
If you have your shit together, put half a cup of milk in there while whisking. Or put some watered down yogurt, or some cream diluted with water, do whatever. It's fine.
Whisk whisk whisk.
Toss in whatever assorted handful of grated cheese you have on hand.
Stir stir stir.
Once it looks like cheese sauce, toss your noodles and vegetables back in. Stir it up until it looks like food. If you're fancy, put it in a little dish and put some bread crumbs on it and broil it, and if you're me, do none of that and just eat it out of a bowl.
Enjoy a delicious garbage meal on your couch.
(Based lightly on Smitten Kitchen's cauliflower cheese recipe.)
Shit to listen to
Duh. Horny 80s synth is truly all that's getting me through this week.
Shit to buy
I ate this shit by the handful today.
Read and super enjoyed the new Sam Irby this weekend.
I so enjoyed this book about a murderbot and a boat who should smooch.