Emchap's Shit from the Internet 04/29/20 🍠
After last week's Eventfulness, this week has been a sort of pleasantly boring return to our new and horrible normal. Sure, I can't leave my house or see my friends or do the things I enjoy, but at least I can have solid foods and no one has to measure my urine output. Could be worse!
Upon returning from the hospital I spent most of the week napping/fucking around at home/attaching heat-repellant window cling film to my elderly rental's laughably single paned windows. I also tweeted some stupid shit about my cat, which proceeded to become mildly viral in a "did the rottweiler write this" sort of way (much better than the "twitter's main character" sort of way, which I live in fear of should anyone ever really look at my feelings about enterprise software). Someone made fan art of my garbage son, which is a sort of hallucinatory, nice thing for 2020 to have produced out of its infinite random number generator.
It has been sort of shocking the amount of immediate, positive change change the gallbladder removal made. Food doesn't make me puke. I took tylenol for a few days and stopped even that pretty quickly. I have horrible bruising because of some bad blood draws/having been cut open, but once that fades and the steristrips fall off, it really does feel like it'll be as if nothing was ever there. It's the "it will shock you how much this never happened" scene but with a vestigal trash organ and not an illegitimate child fathered by a married colleague with a horrible weasel face.
The feature which my team has worked on for the last nine months even respected my absence—I was worried that after all the delays and QA and meetings it would ship while I was in the hospital, but due to some last-minute shuffling-around it hung out until yesterday morning. It's nice to see it off in the world, now without the fear that any celebratory dinner I might have for it will end up in tears. The weather is nice and things are alright.
Shit to read
An article written about Georgia's awful choices, by a native Georgian.
Listen to Jolie Kerr and don't accidentally poison yourself.
The fallout from this dude's attempt to troll republicans has been fascinating.
A lovely story about pot brownies just in time for mother's day.
Let's all sit on our couches.
I loved this article on establishing a sex life after an evangelical youth and first marriage.
Shit to eat
Order a shrimp burrito and some chips and guac.
Eat the burrito. Leave the chips. What you do with the guac is up to you.
The next day, in the morning, heat some oil in a pan.
Crunch up the slightly stale corn chips
Cook them for a second.
Crack a couple of eggs in there. Kind of toss them around.
In goes some salsa. You can put in a brand that's not Pace, but you're wrong.
And some shredded cheese! Live mas!
Scramble it all up until the whites are set.
Do you have a gas range? Great! Char up some tortillas.
Split the migas mash up and put them in the tortillas.
Great, now you have breakfast. Hell yeah.
Shit to listen to
Mountain Goats Mountain Goats who's listening to the Mountain Goats.
Shit to buy
I've been watching a lot of Mad Men and now I want a set of labeled bar decanters. These are charming.
God I want this over-the-sink drying rack so much.
It's fancy candle o'clock.
I want to go just ham on some shelving.
Who wants some fancy aunt pants?