Emchap's Shit from the Internet 04/10/19 🍠
Do you ever see a bit of media which seems so specifically targeted to your dumb trash interests that there is a brief and baffling moment of "surely this can't be real; I'm the only one like this"? It's the entertainment version of the tremendous Patricia Lockwood piece from a few months ago, with points of reference layered so densely on top of each other or at such weird angles that the fact that you wended your way to understanding the whole of it is a small miracle.
I was at an internet-themed comedy event on Friday where I had a brief glimmer of one of those moments. One of the comics did a presentation on Gor, the trash-ass fantasy novels featuring some Problematic BDSM. I'm obsessed with Gor and the Goreans (real people who cosplay as Gor characters as part of some weird fucking test of whether the first amendment requires us to get involved in their sex shit) because of how fucking long they have been around (the novels have been being published since like the 60s). They're weird as shit and are a fascinating little subculture to research; basically no one my age who didn't get left at DragonCon alone as a child is very aware of them as far as I can tell.
So, I was primed to be delighted. But then the bit opened with a riff on teeth teeth teeth, on old Weird Twitter joke that has become part of my broken genetic fiber even though I truly cannot explain (and I have tried!) why it is funny. It just is. It's teeth. The riff was very funny, I thought, but didn't attract much laughter, because the venn diagram of people who have the overlapping internet trash knowledge to care about this is a circle of about 10 people. The comic seemed self-assured enough in her presentation so as to not give a shit, because if you go out into the world with a Weird Twitter riff on Gor, you're probably pretty aware of the demographic odds.
And if you're not one of the 10 people, of course, being around one of those jokes fucking sucks. It's weird and not funny. But if you are, it's a small and great moment, and I was totally delighted by mine.
Shit to read
It's worth noting that Facebook is an ugly goddamn website.
Crazy Ex Girlfriend, which is a tremendous show that ignites that same feeling in me that the comedy bit above did (is this what it feels like to be a white dude watching TV?) ended this week in a way that I thought was super satisfying. Email me your Crazy Ex Girlfriend thoughts, and in the meantime, read about the production of their 11 o'clock number and this reminisce about the hardest songs to write (they're all Greg songs). Then go listen to this song, which includes the lyric "strip away my Jew-guilt", which is very funny.
The secret of Queer Eye is money and I wish the show touched on this at all. The main issue of most of these folks' lives isn't poor self-worth, it's that they're poor.
This article about nerds articulated a feeling that I have trouble putting into words and feels so completely, completely true as a description about why some people that folks think I'd get along with ("you're both book people!") make my shoulders rise up to my ears. I try so hard to push against these tedious instincts in myself and a resent it when others don't.
The same author knocked it out of the park with this article about buckle up Twitter.
Fucking let's do it, man.
This is a book review but also a discussion of what it is to be alive in this present moment.
I am so glad I read enough David Sedaris because of my mom and enough weird Puritan essays because of my favorite English teacher in high school that I avoided what this author is talking about.
I feel like Sufjan Stevens willed this into being.
I can't decide how I feel about this essay about paying for childcare. Everything is broken.
This piece on How to Do Nothing is fucking PERFECT; read all of it.
My community chorus has been doing a bunch of stuff with Pauline Oliveros' sonic meditations and they are super fucking cool.
I want all good things for Dan Levy.
Shit to eat
Get out a box grater or, if you love yourself, a food processor with a grater on it.
Peel and grate up all the carrots in your house. All of them. (Or, like, 4.) Dump it in a bowl.
Open a can of chickpeas, drain the liquid into a jar for making vegan meringue (you won't) and dump the chickpeas in with the carrots.
Chop up some parsley and some chives, and stick 'em in there as well.
In a separate bowl or jar or whatnot, mix up equal parts olive oil, lemon juice, and honey, and toss in a little dijon mustard. Mix in a little bit of cumin and salt. Shake it up.
Dump that whole mess into the bowl and toss everything. Let it sit for a while.
Toast a pita so that it's warm but not hard. Put carrot salad on half, and some cold rotisserie chicken on the other. Fold it up and eat a very serviceable desk lunch.
Adapted from this French Carrot Salad recipe.
Shit to listen to
This playlist of Crazy Ex Girlfriend songs. This one includes "newsflash fuckwads, I'm a good person," which is great. Also this Soul Train bop about the delusion of the newly-in-love.
Shit to buy
I bought this to hang up and put some plants in. Get your apartment garden on.
I'm about to get really into network TV.
It's goofy but my nice-ass dish rack really is a strong improvement in my quality of life.