Emchap's Shit from the Internet 03/25/20 🍠
I have had difficulty doing much in the last couple of weeks beyond wandering around my house in the same gross but comfortable pair of sweatpants and typing variations of "this shit is bad, right?" to my friends while eating wads of frozen cookie dough out of my hands like a little goblin and dodging increasingly coordinated attacks from my cat.
In the midst of the new baseline dread, my body decided to either develop some sort of gallbladder Thing or a new food allergy that led to me vomiting up a kimchi burrito (don't recommend), and my landlord is currently in the middle of having all of our houses painted for some goddamn reason. I am in the best possible position to whether this relative to 99% of people, but as a semiprofessional sad person (shoutout to my good pal Wellbutes) it's Not Going Well.
Not to be we #stan an #employer, but my office has been remarkably kind and aware of the whole situation. I work in support, which is where all the quiet kids who cry wind up working at a tech company, and our team meeting today literally just had a section where we went around and shared nice things that had happened this week while we tried to avoid openly weeping. I talked about how a cat adopted my dad for the evening. Another coworker talked about ren faire workers setting up a mutual aid network. Another shared a kind sign that she'd seen. At the end we talked about vacuums. (During our remote retreat last week, our team time was spent talking about soup.)
It's wild to watch a certain online section of folks get really into home cooking as a thing to stave off the terror that comes from spending all day on the bad news rectangle, because (as someone who cooks at home a lot, normally!) I have had fuckall motivation to do so this week. I've been eating food other people bring me and feeling guilty about it and taking my reserves of focus to instead conduct increasingly elaborate, pointless fights with my loved ones. I like everyone's photos of good bread and instead of making any am just spending the day watching Bachelor reruns on Netflix.
It has been interesting to see people with CPTSD talking online about how the current situation is to some extent confirmation of what their brains tell them (and what they try to counteract, normally). When reality conforms to your maladapted brain, it throws you for a loop! When my professional ambient sadness morphs from brain weasels to rational grief with a real-ass cause, it fucks with me, and that's part of what's happening now.
I ordered pizza tonight, and they were out of 20 oz mountain dew, so I got a 2 liter. I'm excited to rend the enamel from my teeth while Going Through It.
Shit to read
I thought this Dear Prudence livestream with Daniel Lavery and Grace Lavery was really charming.
Babies take a tooth.
I like Alison Roman's recipes and am slightly put off by her energy and I think this article is a really great summation of why. (I agree with the premise and just not the conclusion for me, personally, though I think they're right about her resurgence.)
I loved this article about they/them translations in Italian.
Some of the few times I've felt engaged this week have been helping friends set up automation workflows for their volunteer work with mutual aid networks.
As someone far from where I started, this essay on home was very good.
God, just. This fucking timeline.
It could be worse, you could have a necrotic spiderbite.
This essay's description of reiki as working because of the feeling of wellness as someone focuses totally on you with goodwill made me cry.
The CFO of UCB is unhinged, and this piece was a great respite from my general anxiety.
Shit to eat
Whisk together 260 g flour, 1/2 t baking soda, and 1/2 t salt. Use the good mixing bowls; you deserve it.
With a mixer or in a food processor or who knows what else, cream a stick and a half of melted butter (I suppose step two is melt the butter, really) with 190 g brown sugar and 100 g the regular kind.
Add a tablespoon of the cheap vanilla extract you have. The world is ending; live mas.
Add an egg and an egg yolk.
In go the dry ingredients.
Toss in a sack of chocolate chips, and chill everything for a while.
With your strongest scooping arm, scoop out quarter cups of the dough, and roll them into balls. Flash freeze them on trays before tossing everything into a gallon bag.
When you are feeling unsure of the world and crave something uncomplicated and good, pull out a glob of cookie dough. It's better if you cook it at 325 for 20 minutes, but if you don't, that's okay.
(Adapted from crispy chewy chocolate chip cookies. Last week's was Alison Roman's shallot pasta, and I forgot to label it!)
Shit to watch
Holy fuck Tiger King please watch it and send me your thoughts.
Shit to buy
I've been shoving my feelings down and just buying very complicated underwear, and I can't recommend it for everyone but this is cute. (I will say buying this finally solved a longstanding question for me of why a bra I purchased from the same line was so unexpectedly small, and the answer is that they use US sizing on the site, not UK. Adjust accordingly.)
And these tights!
Bare Necessities has a bunch of stuff on sale.
I want to rub my face with this fancy mask stick.
Get your friends a Cameo from a mid-tier reality star. It rules.