Emchap's Shit from the Internet 02/12/20 🍠
I had one of those horrible "oh, I'm feeling kind of out of it" to "goddammit, I'm sick" two-hour swings on Friday evening, and have failed to heal myself with the sheer force of my ire. This time, at least, it's not really a cold—I don't feel slow and sick and stupid. It is, however, some sort of upper respiratory infection which has me miserably drowning in my own lung mucus, and I gotta say I cannot in good faith endorse that as a way to spend your time.
In addition to causing me to hock up what looks like moss in the shower each morning, the infection has caused me to lose my voice, completely and dramatically. I discovered this Sunday morning (during an ill-advised phone call with my gentleman friend during which he admitted that my pterodactyl screech voice + his car's stereo system + Bluetooth, conceptually meant that he couldn't actually hear me), but assumed that I had at most one day of being so hamstrung.
One of the underrated weirdnesses of working from home while living alone is that you don't have much cause to speak out loud unless you wind up in a video meeting, which meant that I got pretty far into Monday before realizing that that was a cheerful self-delusion, and my voice was still completely gone. Another coworker had the same thing happening, so we recorded the world's saddest back-and-forth of bug replication videos in which both of us were trying gamely to get the mics to pick up our explanations of how we managed to trigger a particular, stupid application error.
It's only about halfway through today that I finally got enough of my voice back so as to not be completely sad sounding. I'm optimistic for a full recovery, but would desperately like to have my free and clear lung function back.
Shit to read
An article about the depressing nature of basement apartments in South Korea.
Now that I know r/HobbyDrama exists I'm never leaving, exhibit A.
Articles about New York are more enjoyable now that I don't live there.
Daniel Lavery's interview at Autostraddle is great, of course.
Well now I know more about an old and dumb dating guide.
As both an Online Person and a Loud Person, I enjoyed this look at the toll of what having that as your identity can be.
My laptop allows me to work from home but the last job in which I truly didn't think about work when I wasn't there was the last job where I didn't have a laptop.
Yams are not sweet potatoes and obviously this entire article is for me, personally.
Shit to eat
Go to the laundromat.
Do laundromat things, and when you are done, fold your laundry and go to the burrito place by the laundromat.
You're trying to eat out less but you're also very tired.
Remember how much you used to like a truly Too Much sandwich that the burrito place makes, which involves hotdogs and eggs and mayo and is just truly the best.
Step up to the window and notice the normal counter guy and the normal line cook guy staring intently at something.
Realize it's a microwave.
Realize (based on sound) that it's making popcorn. They're watching popcorn pop.
Cough very quietly so that they know you're there.
Startle the counter guy, who will notice you watching them and laugh. Take this as the first sign you've had that he might recognize who you are, despite ordering from this burrito place at least once a week for the last year.
Order the sandwich.
Still fail to stick the landing on picking which kind of salsa you want, though. Some things are eternal.
Shit to watch
This is my ongoing plug for Riverdale, a show which is completely unhinged and absolutely included a tickle erotica plot in its last episode.
Shit to buy
This poketo socks.