Emchap's Shit from the Internet 🍠
I have realized from my ongoing adventures at Unicorn Gym that my praise-thirst is literally unquenchable, and so long as someone shouts encouraging compliments at me while I fuck up my kettlebell swings I will do them literally until the end of time. This is an exciting piece of insight, but it is interrupting my normal hobbies of "being depressed" and "tinder", so, I'm filling that void with getting the swolest thighs I can and/or living my absolute best life eating the tuna sandwich from the dumpling place near the gym.
Guys, it's so good.
It's on a sesame pancake.
I am in love.
Shit to read
This dude does ASL interpretation for Chance the Rapper, and the logistics and politics of that are super fascinating and I recommend reading the whole thing, but if you don't, at least go to the bottom and watch his immensely charming self doing rap song slang in ASL because it's great.
This is a story about a Facebook group devoted to chips (quoted in it: all of your favorite #media #twitter folks) and the brights spots in the internet that are left to us in this garbage fire of a year, and it's great.
OH MY GOD you guys I am obsessed with recipe blog comments and that one brownies recipe comming in particular and someone did a follow-up.
I got well-actuallyed about rainbow lorikeets yesterday (which prompted a friend to point out that maybe I should spend less of my time talking to argumentative men, which is not wrong, but also, I work with developers so like there's a lot of my life I could live better), and the friend from the previous parenthetical sent this thing about party parrot which obviously I found delightful.
Gossip Girl is ultimately about how all relationships are transactional. xoxo
Apparently a bunch of Spanish-speaking MBA players have used Friends to learn conversational English, and my heart has grown too many sizes, that's delightful.
Shit to eat
Buy six red bell peppers and a can of coconut milk, and an onion and some garlic if you don't already have any.
Cover the peppers in oil and pop 'em under the broiler for 20 minutes, rotating them as needed.
There's probably a real way to roast red peppers, but I prefer to just run them under cool water and push the skin off with my thumb, ymmv.
Take the tops and the seeds out.
Dice up an onion and a couple cloves of garlic, and toss that in a pot; cook it for 10 minutes or so (do it while cleaning the peppers, probably?).
Toss in the peppers and a 13oz can of coconut milk and half a big can of diced tomatoes or a full small can of diced tomatoes, live your life.
Add a cup of water and probably 2 tsp of salt and maybe some red pepper (like 1/2 a tsp? maybe less) and immersion blend the fuck out of it.
Once everything's liquid, reheat.
Soup for dayzzzzzz.
You will eventually burn your throat on reheated soup, but know that it will heal within two days or so.
(Adapted from this recipe.)
Shit to listen to
This is a Spanish-language cover of "No Scrubs", and it is fantastic.
Shit to buy
Target sells furry heads; who wants to couples costume a goth Princess Carolyn with me.
I bought some witch-ass lavender body oil recently, I recommend you do the same.
I bought and assembled this bar cart! It's nice! I was able to do it myself!