Emchap's Shit from the Internet 05/26/21 🍠

One of the pleasures of living by myself is just being fundamentally gross, which this week is taking the form of me gleefully shedding all my foot skin off like a horrible little bipedal snake. This is because a week ago I soaked my feet for an hour in a plastic bootie full of goop. You spend an hour waddling around in an undignified manner, your feet soak up the glycolic acid, and a week later the Shedding Begins.

At the end of it, you’re left with very soft feet, because all the external skin has been removed in favor of new and beautiful skin that you can destroy through a haphazard moisturizing regime + living in the desert. (Bonus benefits: fun snacks for your robot vacuum and some truly disgusting sheet detritus when you swap out the bed linens.)

My favorite part of this process has been posting progress on the online, because it receives two distinct reactions:

  1. For people I know through Twitter, a robust “hell yeah”

  2. For everyone else, a “Jesus Christ that is horrifying”

Which is just one of those fun life reminders about the ways in which being on that website has made me a weirder and quite possibly worse person. (Albeit one with much more beautiful feet.)

If nothing else, my fun new personal science project has given me a distraction to focus on during boring meetings, which I’m very not mad about. (I have attempted to engage coworkers in conversations about this; they have not been interested because they have normal brains that are online a reasonable amount.)

Shit to read

Shit to eat

  1. Find whole chickens on sale for cheap. Buy one.

  2. When you get home, disassemble it. It will not go as smoothly as you would like. It never does.

  3. Freeze most of it, but cut the thighs off the bones and into strips.

  4. Heat a pan hot, use oil or rendered chicken fat, and drop in your chicken pieces. Cook them for 8-ish minutes, until the meat thermometer says you’re fine.

  5. Dump them into a bowl, chop up an onion and a few cloves of garlic, and put those and some oil and salt back into the pan.

  6. Cook for a few minutes.

  7. Toss in a torn-up head of kale, some red pepper flakes, some more salt, and a few tablespoons of lemon juice. Cover with a lid and leave for five minutes.

  8. Taste, make sure the kale has softened. Cook longer if it has not.

  9. Toss the chicken back in, along with a few handfuls of parmesan.

  10. Eat.

(Adapted from this “definitely has nutrients” Parmesan Chicken and Kale Sauté.)

Shit to watch

Shit to buy